Hoo-boy! I have a lot going on these days (on-page, on-mic, and off-), so the newest episode of the podcast won't be up as soon as I hoped. I'm not sweating it, though, because I think you'll find that my Episode 6 guest, Ali AlJanaby, has a story that is well worth the wait.
In the meantime, here's an old (2001, I think?) essay I just ran across on an old flash drive. Oh, to be so young and so, so heartbroken...
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The Fastest Way to Get Warm
Shortly before sunrise she tells me that the fastest way for two people to get warm is to hold onto one another tightly under a blanket, wearing no clothes, just like this. I can't help but think of my third grade science class.
The day's lesson is about magnetism. On the chalkboard Ms Evans has drawn two longish vertical rectangles. On one, N is printed neatly at the top, S on the bottom. The letters are reversed on the second rectangle. Between the two shapes are wobbly lines that are supposed to represent magnetic fields. Ms Evans tells my classmates and me about poles. North will only attract South, vice versa. "Opposites attract," she scoffs, and then adds, "You're all too young to really understand love."
There is a large table in the back of the classroom. On it are six pairs of bar magnets that look similar to those drawn on the board. During study time we're allowed to go back to the tables in pairs to experiment with the magnets. We can see how large each magnet's field is by slowly moving one of the bars toward the opposing pole of another. The two magically slide together when their fields overlap. All the kids are giddy. From her desk, without looking up, Ms Evans says, "Enjoy it while you can."
I soon learn that you can make the bars dance around the table by approaching one end of the magnet with a similarly charged pole. Repulsion turns out to be much more interesting than attraction. I spend my entire turn attempting to touch two North poles just once. No luck. Frustrated, I shove the bar in my hand across the surface of the table at its uncooperative partner, thinking I can surprise it with a quick lunge. Of course, the second magnet isn't caught off guard, and promptly slides off the table, onto the floor, breaking to pieces. Ms Evans grabs my shirtsleeve and hisses; "You'll make a terrible husband someday." I apologize, but am sent to my desk, my magnet privileges revoked for the day.
There have been more than a few instances like this: early morning, naked, and nervous. When I think of getting warm fast, I think of it as a survival issue. I've never been camping or stuck in the mountains during a snowstorm, but I think of those as situations in which it is necessary to get warm fast.
For her, she tells me, getting warm fast is a coziness issue.
Fair enough.
There is little sleep had that morning, but much warmth. Our conversation is lazy—me talking into the bridge of her nose, her into my chin. She tells me about her travel plans: one thousand miles in two days, one way. I bite her nose in a friendly way. She slaps my ribs, and climbs on top of me. She begins talking about the smell of the ocean, warm winters, and other clichés. She looks at me while she speaks, but when she closes her eyes I'm not what she sees. She knows what I see when I close mine, and so she reminds me of our agreement. Now of all times.
“I know I know,” I tell her between breaths. But for all my intentions to dance with her casually in this repulsive field, I can feel myself tensing, preparing to lunge...
In the final moments of it, she presses her cheek to mine and whispers: "What a wonderful husband you would make…." For this, I will never forgive her.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012 at 9:06AM