Here's the latest Fresh Friday podcast from the Get Fresh Crew at Fresh Produce, featuring Weezoo.

And here's a video of my debut performance with the band.

He recently released That is All, the third (and final) volume of his "almanac of complete world knowledge." That is All, like the previous two installments, is very fun and very silly. But almost hidden amongst all of the fake trivia and silly lists are passages of beautiful and thoughtful prose.

The following comes from an anecdote about touring Wilt Chamberlain's former home with a group of writers:

We would never be as successful as this. But more, we would never be as loved. Even the most unskilled athlete is beloved. Even when the athlete is hurting Cleveland's feelings or murdering dogs he will always, eventually, be loved.

We looked over the city and knew that no matter how many lives we touched, no matter how many memes we affected, no matter how many conventions we attended, no matter how wealthy our creation of culture might make us, we would never be as loved, so frequently and so vigorously, as the athlete. We haunt their houses, and walk in the spaces they have abandoned.

Buy John Hodgman's books.

In the meantime, here's an old (2001, I think?) essay I just ran across on an old flash drive. Oh, to be so young and so, so heartbroken...

***

The Fastest Way to Get Warm

Shortly before sunrise she tells me that the fastest way for two people to get warm is to hold onto one another tightly under a blanket, wearing no clothes, just like this. I can't help but think of my third grade science class.

The day's lesson is about magnetism. On the chalkboard Ms Evans has drawn two longish vertical rectangles. On one, N is printed neatly at the top, S on the bottom. The letters are reversed on the second rectangle. Between the two shapes are wobbly lines that are supposed to represent magnetic fields. Ms Evans tells my classmates and me about poles. North will only attract South, vice versa. "Opposites attract," she scoffs, and then adds, "You're all too young to really understand love."

There is a large table in the back of the classroom. On it are six pairs of bar magnets that look similar to those drawn on the board. During study time we're allowed to go back to the tables in pairs to experiment with the magnets. We can see how large each magnet's field is by slowly moving one of the bars toward the opposing pole of another. The two magically slide together when their fields overlap. All the kids are giddy. From her desk, without looking up, Ms Evans says, "Enjoy it while you can."

I soon learn that you can make the bars dance around the table by approaching one end of the magnet with a similarly charged pole. Repulsion turns out to be much more interesting than attraction. I spend my entire turn attempting to touch two North poles just once. No luck. Frustrated, I shove the bar in my hand across the surface of the table at its uncooperative partner, thinking I can surprise it with a quick lunge. Of course, the second magnet isn't caught off guard, and promptly slides off the table, onto the floor, breaking to pieces. Ms Evans grabs my shirtsleeve and hisses; "You'll make a terrible husband someday." I apologize, but am sent to my desk, my magnet privileges revoked for the day.

There have been more than a few instances like this: early morning, naked, and nervous. When I think of getting warm fast, I think of it as a survival issue. I've never been camping or stuck in the mountains during a snowstorm, but I think of those as situations in which it is necessary to get warm fast.

For her, she tells me, getting warm fast is a coziness issue.

Fair enough.

There is little sleep had that morning, but much warmth. Our conversation is lazy—me talking into the bridge of her nose, her into my chin. She tells me about her travel plans: one thousand miles in two days, one way. I bite her nose in a friendly way. She slaps my ribs, and climbs on top of me. She begins talking about the smell of the ocean, warm winters, and other clichés. She looks at me while she speaks, but when she closes her eyes I'm not what she sees. She knows what I see when I close mine, and so she reminds me of our agreement. Now of all times.

“I know I know,” I tell her between breaths. But for all my intentions to dance with her casually in this repulsive field, I can feel myself tensing, preparing to lunge...

In the final moments of it, she presses her cheek to mine and whispers: "What a wonderful husband you would make…." For this, I will never forgive her. 

It's a semi-regular rundown of the various things I've been up to that might get lost in the raging waters of the Twitter and Facebook streams, as well as updates about the activities of past Radio Hour guests.

Here's what it looks like: "Summah's Ovah!: The G&H End of Summer Update"

So, here’s my apology: Sorry for the dearth of content on my blog lately.

And here’s my sweaty explanation: Shit’s been busy, man.

Lest you think I’ve been spending all of my time watching Ancient Aliens re-runs on The History Channel, and not just quite a bit, here is a little about a couple of the bigger irons in my fire lately.

The Podcast

When I started The Ghosts & Horses Radio Hour my goal was to release two episodes per month (on the 1^st and the 15^th), each with 2-3 guests, which I realized very quickly was a fucking ridiculous goal. On average, I spend between 30-40 hours on each episode (mostly because I do everything myself, and I’m teaching myself how to do it as I go). If I made myself produce two episodes per month, that’s all I would do, and I would hate it.

So I’ve relaxed my release schedule. I’m shooting for about one episode per month, plus some bonus content if I have time. Giving myself that wiggle room has allowed me to keep enjoying the podcast, which I am, immensely.

Sometime in October I’ll be releasing an episode featuring my friend, Ali. A couple of weeks ago Ali and I spent about three and a half hours talking about what it was like growing up in a publicly anti-Saddam family in Iraq, and the truly incredible story of how he ended up in the States following the 2003 invasion. Hopefully his episode of the podcast will do Ali’s story justice.

I have some fun and interesting plans for future episodes, but I don’t want to spoil them too much. Let’s just say that I’m going to try to get a fortune teller to give me a psychic reading on-mic. Because that’s what I’m going to do. So, spoiler alert, I guess.

Untitled Long Fiction Project

Most of what ends up on the blog these days (with a couple of exceptions) are podcast-related things or humor writing-related things. In addition to that stuff, I’m working on a long-form fiction project. It isn’t especially funny (I hope), and doesn’t really lend itself to serialization, so there’s not much to say about it on this site for the time being. Despite not talking about it very often, it’s the thing that I’m thinking about more than anything else, and working on as often as I can.

Day Job

Annoyingly, I have to pay rent and things, so I have a day job.

So those are the kind of things that my blogging time is competing with lately. Do you hear that, Three People Who Occasionally Give Me A Gentle Ribbing About Not Blogging More Often? I AM A BUSY MAN.

Case in point: My old friend Dessa (featured on Radio Hour episodes One and Three, discussing rap business and doling out personal advice to me, respectively) just announced that her next album, Castor, The Twin, will be released on Oct 4, 2011. 

Simply put, Dessa is the best. In addition to being an immensely talented musician and writer, she is just an all-around good egg.

Check out this track, "Palace," from the upcoming album, and then pay close attention to Doomtree.net and @dessadarling so you know exactly when you can pre-order this business.

I mean, come on. That's pretty great, right?

If you haven't already, you can subscribe in iTunes, or download an MP3 version of this episode here.

Radio Hour logo designed by Kristi Korver

Radio Hour theme by We All Have Hooks for Hands

While I continue to edit the episode, I'd like to share with you this remarkable moment from our conversation. This is Patrick talking about being diagnosed as HIV-positive in 1985:  

You can listen to the rest of my conversation with Patrick when Episode 5 is released next week.